Tag Archives: cancer

“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”

It is one year since I walked out of my last radiation treatment, into the California sunshine, moving from the life of a patient to the life of a survivor. There are so many signs that I’ve moved on– my … Continue reading

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Less afraid of death

Ayla, five months old, fell asleep at my breast, milk trickling down her chin onto me. At 33, while nursing this new life, inside me grew the threat of impending death– a cancer that would wrend my body from my … Continue reading

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The Cutting of the Cancer Cord

The life of a survivor can be much harder than the life of a patient, at least in my experience. Recently an image came to mind of what this transition feels like. I thought back to a year ago. I … Continue reading

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The inner and outer world of a cancer survivor

Typing in the Dark The girls have just gone to sleep and I crash down on my bed. Lying on a heating pad in the dark, I hold up my phone and begin to type in the search field: “S … Continue reading

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Motherhood and Memory

Everyone should have a mother for a long time.  Tonight, after coming home from work and hugging both my girls, I leaned into my own mother and let her hold me up.  Even after everything I’ve been through, part of … Continue reading

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The Parting of the Cancer Sea

On February 28th I sat at my computer trying to concentrate.  Twenty-four more hours to wait for my biopsy results.  My life at a crossroads.  It was late afternoon, right before the girls would come home. I got up to … Continue reading

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